Monday, January 30, 2017

Kadarius Foster

Ring Chasing

2 comments:

  1. I enjoyed the part of the story where you talked about coach leaving you and how it affected your life. What happened to the team in the playoffs? What happened that "wasn't supposed to happen in the postseason?" There were a few grammatical errors like "I had never knew who he was." Try to add dialogue next time.

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  2. It was good but you need to add some dialogue and a thesis. What happen to the team when the coach left? Did they feel the same way or were they mad at him? You need to finish it and come up with a topic sentence for every paragraph.

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