Monday, January 30, 2017

Quay Patterson

Tryouts gone wrong 

1 comment:

  1. I like your story, I would love for you to use move details. Go back to paragraph one, and two and look at your wording twords the ending. In paragraph one you said "I can just think about Coach Fordham yelling at me”come on push it." Space out your wording twords the ending." You said in the begining of paragrph. "I wanted them to think as me as a person." I think tou should have said "I wanted them to think of me as a person."

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